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Birthdays Aren’t The Same

Pierce and I at Cheesecake Factory for my birthday back in 2016

A few days ago, I turned 30. It’s taken a few days to process everything, but as per usual, everyone tends to make a big deal out of milestone birthdays. After all, it isn’t every day you turn three decades old.

Normally, women tend to fear or loathe getting older. The gray hairs, the wrinkles and everything that comes with getting older. This year though, and because you aren’t here, Pierce, I had a lot of complex emotions surrounding getting another year older that had nothing to do with my appearance or other people’s perceptions of me or the fact that I’m on the far end of the millennial scale.

I realized, in all the planning and deciding where to eat, what we should do to celebrate…that I didn’t really feel like celebrating. That I didn’t want to get another year older if you couldn’t. That it wasn’t fair.

Today was when all my emotions came to a head and I just cried. Other small inconveniences and things being piled on my already full plate just boiled over and it finally caught up with me that I was upset.

I miss you, Pierce. You should be here. It isn’t fair that you won’t get to turn 30. To own a house and make it your own. To start a promising personal training business. To be here with your family and everyone who loved you so much.

Your case is now back in court and we also had to go to a hearing last week.

The man who caused your wreck, Fransisco Eduardo Franco Cambrany, is trying to have his charges appealed and removed from his record. The attorney defending him is taking the case, pro bono. What makes this frustrating is that, if the charges are removed from Fransisco Eduardo’s record, he could never be tried for your wreck and what he did. It would be as if, on paper, he didn’t cause your accident and tear our family apart.

I wish more people understood what kind of dangerous precedence this sets for cases that involve illegal immigration. What precedence it sets for law and order. It frustrates me that some of those involved in these kinds of cases would rather defend a criminal than help victims and would rather help them break the law than uphold it.

To those people, the ones who believe they are being some sort of social justice heroes, I wish you could understand the continued grief and agony you cause my family. To you, it is just another battle ground to prove some sort of point. To myself and my family, it is everything. It was Pierce’s life. And his life and his actions mattered.

I wish people could put themselves in our shoes. And I also have to wonder…why does Fransisco Eduardo’s criminal standing matter here in America so much if he is in Mexico, as he should be? Because per the case and the law, if he has reentered our country, he should be tried in a court of law and present himself.

I believe in forgiveness. But I also believe in standing accountable for our actions. Pierce, you always were the bigger person in situations like this. I’ve been praying about it and praying that justice is served and even if it isn’t, that I will be okay with it.

Or, if not okay with it, that I will be able to keep going and continue fighting for what I know is right.

I love and miss you, Pierce. I wish you could have been with all of us the other night. We went to Cheesecake Factory and I thought about you while we were there. You would have gotten key lime, your favorite, and we would have all been joking around. We love and miss you so much.

Your Big Sister,


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