Reality hurts

365 days. It hurts to say it. As each day passes reality sets in. It doesn’t get easier. We’ve spent much of this past year going through the motions. On auto pilot. Drag ourselves out of bed, get dressed, go to work, come home, go to bed, repeat. We feel 100 years old. We probably look it too. We tell ourselves we will do better. We will try harder for you, Pierce. You would fuss at us for not taking better care of ourselves. You would have completed your personal trainer certification and expected us to take your knowledge and advice to get in better shape. We want to honor you and how you lived your life but the grief and longing for you weighs heavy. When they buried you a part of us was buried with you. Our joy, our will and our desire went with you. Continuing to live is a struggle because you cannot. Some days we try to convince ourselves we will do better. It’s one thing to say it. It’s another thing completely to act on it. How can we enjoy life when you’re not able to? How?

Beginning a new year. Another year without you seems unthinkable, undoable and painful. Our hearts physically hurt just at the thought of having to keep going but we know we must. We try to remember you are not longing for us or your life here. Why would you? Heaven couldn’t compare and you would never choose to return to this World! Your dad and I are selfish. We want you here with us! Avery and Connor need and want you here! Our hearts will never understand Gods timing. πŸ˜” At least not this side of Heaven…..

Pierce we love and miss you so very much! You were a wonderful son, brother, grandson and friend. We cherish every moment and memory spent with you πŸ™πŸΌπŸ’œβœοΈπŸ•Š

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