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Christmas Memories

I knew these days would be hard. Many wonderful memories but still overshadowed by a very painful one. Dec. 29, 2018. I had just packed away our Christmas tree and ornaments when there was a knock on the door. The worst day of our lives…… Pierce was gone.

So many emotions as I got the tree, ornaments and decorations out . Decorating a grave and a tree this year. At this point last year Pierce was living his last days. Making his last memories. Making plans he would never fulfill.

Every Christmas since our children were born we’ve bought them an ornament. They each had a Hallmark ornament marking age 1-5. Then they were able to pick out a favorite each year. Avery took hers when she married and places them on their tree. Connor will use his the first time this year as he and Emma put up their first tree together. Pierce and Jade didn’t get an opportunity to see their first Christmas tree together. I often wonder what will happen to his things we’ve held on to all these years? Will Avery and Connor keep them? I imagine some things they will, especially his ornaments. They remember our trips to pick their ornaments out. They remember each other’s and enjoy remembering why they chose them.

I had hoped when I died the three of them would reminisce over them and enjoy remembering and laughing about their trips to pick them out and sharing Christmas memories. It shouldn’t be this way. Pierce should be here. It makes me so sad to know Avery and Connor will never have a chance to grow old with their baby brother and share more holidays together. One day when they have children I’m sure they will tell them about their uncle Pierce and what he meant to them. 😔🙏🏼💜🕊

Our tree is decorated with Cardinals this year. There’s been a beautiful Cardinal living in our back yard for the last year. He has brought comfort to us and always seems to appear when we are struggling. A few times he has sat perched on the basketball goal. (Everyone who knows Pierce knows how much time he spent shooting hoops). The tree turned out beautifully thanks to my Aunt Sandra. We just happened to see ribbon with a cardinal and we both knew it was exactly what we should use!

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